Facebook Stalking: Yes I Do It

            I’ve only had an account for a year, so I’m a little behind most people my age. I’m still discovering reasons why I love Facebook. A main reason is that as a shy person it makes connecting with people so much easier. And when you are bored, hours can fly by in what feels like minutes. But the #1 reason why I love Facebook is the stalking.

            Ok, so I’m not some crazy person who finds out where someone lives so they can drive by their house repeatedly for no reason. I’ve only done that once. But there is a certain satisfaction in knowing stuff about an old friend or crush that you haven’t seen in years.

            I recently stumbled upon the Facebook of a friend that moved away in 4th grade. I sent her a friend request, and to my surprise she accepted. Honestly, I have no plans on reconnecting with her, the friendship didn’t really mean that much to me. I was just curious to see how she turned out. Part of the reason for my curiosity was because we were born on the exact same day in the exact same hospital and our moms have the exact same name. I always thought this was really weird and that may be the only reason I remembered her to begin with. I checked out her Facebook info and realized she ended up a lot like me. Apparently after her family moved way out to the Midwest, they moved back just a few years later but she went to a different school district. It was creepy to realize someone I thought was on the other end of the country for the past eight years has lived within fifteen minutes driving distance of my house for most of those eight years. She is also an aspiring writer like me. We are probably more different than we are alike I guess, but Facebook profiles don’t show everything. Finding long-lost friends (even if you never contact them) is, in my opinion, one of the coolest things you can do on the internet.

            Looking up old crushes can also be very entertaining. Just a few hours ago I accidentally stumbled upon the Facebook page of a guy I had a crush on in 6th grade. He was the bad boy type that rarely caught my attention. But for some reason, I thought he was super cute. Luckily, that was the type of crush that was out-of-sight-out-of-mind, because I soon forgot all about him. Well, until today that is. I saw his name and suddenly the tiny little white kid in a wife-beater shirt and faded jeans came back into my mind. I still shudder to think I ever liked that sort of guy. Judging by his Facebook, I am so glad I forgot about him. Today he has a massive tattoo on his arm and an I-spent-all-day-tanning glow to go with it. Judging by the looks of his profile picture he spends far too much time in the gym and gelling up his hair.

            Although the above is entirely too enjoying, it is more often that I come across the guy who I pined over for years. The kind of guy I will always wish had noticed me. And of course, this is the guy whose Facebook makes you crush on them all over again. Their profile picture is often accompanied by some beautiful girl. Seeing as I’ve only been out of high school for a year, it’s easy to still have some feelings for a guy I wished would ask me to prom. Seeing this guy’s relationship status change from single to “in a relationship” always hurts a bit. And the urge to flip through their pictures usually wins out over the urge to not see him kissing some perfect blond. I try not to stalk guys from high school over Facebook very often, but despite the bad feelings it often brings up, I still enjoy it to some extent. I’m not sure why, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, maybe I’m a hopeless day dreamer, or maybe I just like to look at their gorgeous faces.

            I don’t like feeling like an internet creeper, but hey, they are the one’s who put it out on the world-wide-web for all to see.


The Drink (a poem)

The Drink

I don’t wanna drink

Until the pain goes away

I don’t wanna depend on it

To have a good time

To ease my nerves

To quiet my mind

To make me feel safe

And loved

Cause it will never love me

Never leave me

Never hurt me

But no– 

That’s wrong!

It will hurt me

Leave me

Sick and alone in the corner

Crying, praying, wishing

For it to go away

Crying, praying, wishing

For more

Stress Fest

Wow, and it just had to get more stressful.

There is only a week and a half till finals and everyone is trying to catch up on work. Personally I have 80 online Spanish assignments that I’ve been putting off. Plus this week I have 2 math tests, a Spanish test, and a ten minute class presentation to prepare for. Today I had to go to an initiation ceremony for an honors society that I just joined. Then as soon as I get focused on my school work I get a phone call from campus safety.

Someone called in a bomb threat to our school. I know, most bomb threats are just threats and nothing more. Our on campus police and local police are currently inspecting the school and haven’t found anything, but I’m still nervous. The threat said they would detonate a bomb at 10pm. So I haven’t really been able to focus for the past few hours. It’s hard to think about conjugating verbs when you are thinking about exploding buildings.

Hopefully 10pm will roll around and nothing will happen, and then everyone can go back to stressing about finals. But it kind of puts things in perspective. Sometimes I feel like my grades are matters of life and death, but there are real threats out there. Maybe when this whole bomb threat is over I’ll realize that there is no need to stress about keeping up my GPA… but I doubt it. I’ll probably stay up late studying for Spanish and math.

Oh the joys of college life.

Abigail Brown: Chapter 5

   Abigail Brown: Chapter 5 — The Plan 

            After a few hours of watching music videos and flipping through magazines, Abigail had a plan. No name changing involved.

            It’s simple, she thought to herself, Luke has no idea who I am. I could be a total slut for all he knows. I’ve only been going to school here for like two months, there are plenty of people who don’t know me or wouldn’t even notice if I changed. I could be totally different. I don’t have to be nerdy, socially awkward Abigail. I can be confident, sexy Abigail. Sure, I’m not really that good-looking, but I’ve seen plenty of confident girls with a lot less going for them than I do. Guy’s don’t care if I’m REALLY hot; I just have to make them THINK I’m hot.

            She went to bed thinking up ways to be different and when she woke she was excited by the bright sun shining through her window. Today is my lucky day, she repeated to herself as she reached for her shortest skirt and most revealing shirt. Compared to some girls Abigail was still dressed like a nun, but it was a start.

            She took the extra five minutes to put on her contacts and tucked her glasses away in the top of her closet to resist temptation. She even went so far as to wear eyeliner, and if you know Abigail, you know this is a very rare occurrence.

            “Good morning roomie!” Destiny’s drunken voice and loud footsteps made Abigail jump in surprise.

            “Oh, hi. Um, don’t you have class in like an hour?” Abigail was a bit judgmental, but more than anything she was worried.

            “Yah, I’m not going today, no one will notice. I’m gonna go to bed, I’m pretty tired.”

            I bet you are, it’s 8am! What is going on with you? Abigail shrugged and held back her concern. “Ok, I’ll try to be quiet when I get back from class”.  Then, Abigail remembered something and her concern melted right away, “Hey, Destiny. Are there any rush parties this weekend?”

            “Of course there are, that’s what weekends are for.” Destiny gave a satisfied smile before collapsing on her bed face down and Abigail walked to class feeling like a new woman.

Abigail Brown: Chapter 4

Chapter 4

            Abigail turned back to her computer screen with a slight pang in her stomach. Better to get my hopes dashed now than to sit around thinking of his gorgeous eyes for two weeks with no hope, she thought as she returned to her email.

            “Oh hey, it’s you again. Angela right?” His voice broke was clearly directed at her, but Abigail paused confused for a moment.

            “Oh me? Yah, it’s, um, Abigail.” She trailed off as she looked into his blue eyes, maybe if I had a name like “Angela” I would have a boyfriend by now.

            Abigail was still staring at the door as it closed. She then proceeded to rest her sore head face down on her desk. She was about to reach into her desk draw for a sympathetic candy bar when a thought occurred to her. My name may not BE Angela, but he thought it was. So maybe I have to potential to be an Angela type of girl…

            Her mind wandered around the prospect of reinventing herself. Her name suited her perfectly, maybe too perfectly. What if she had been named Amber or Andrea, she wondered. How is it that I have a really nerdy name and I just happened to turn out really nerdy? She tossed around the idea of changing her name. But, she decided against it. After all, she didn’t hate her name, she hated her personality.

Costa Rica

Last night I stayed up till 5am finishing a paper for one of my classes. Some of the information I learned was very interesting and since it was on a topic I care about I thought I would share it with who ever is willing to read it. Please note that the part of the paper I am sharing was written at about 3am and is only a section of my entire paper. The sitations are at the bottom in footnotes.

            Costa Rica is home to many species of plants and animals, several of which are endangered species. Although Costa Rica is one of the leading nations in the green movement the country still has some bad practices and wildlife is suffering. Forests are often cut down to make way for cattle ranches[1] and hotels for tourists are encroaching on already shrinking shore lines.[2] This habitat loss is a problem for many species of both animals and plants.

            Three species whose populations are dwindling are the hawksbill, leatherback, and green sea turtles. Rising ocean waters are eating away at their nesting beaches from one end while hotels and beach houses take land on the other end. This is leaving less room for the turtles to lay eggs. According to Carlos Drews, a species coordinator for the World Wildlife Fund, if this pattern continues turtles will be nesting “between the tennis courts and swimming pools”.[3]

            Whether or not you believe in global warming, rising sand temperatures are having a devastating effect on these sea turtle populations. The gender of sea turtles is determined while they are developing in the egg, and it depends entirely upon the temperature of the sand they are buried in. At 85.4 degrees Fahrenheit a batch of eggs yields about 50% male and 50% female turtles. However, when the sand reaches 89.6 degrees all turtles will be female, and when the sand reaches 93 degrees all of the hatchlings die.[4] Volunteers often relocate eggs to cooler sand so that the male to female ration can be balanced.

            Along with being threatened by habitat loss and rising temperatures sea turtle populations are also threatened by poachers. Elizabeth Rosenthal explains that young Costa Rican’s often look up to poachers because they make a lot of money; this is a problem because those young children then aspire to be poachers.[5] Even people not looking for profit go to the beach to collect turtle eggs to eat. They are considered a very tasty food by many locals who never stop to think about the animal that they are eating. Some Costa Rican’s are working to change this attitude by offering to let locals watch as newly hatched sea turtles are released for hatcheries and make their way toward the sea.[6]

            Clearly Costa Rican wildlife needs protecting or many species will go extinct. Some locals are passionate about helping to rebuild sea turtle populations, but many more don’t care about the sea turtles or think of them as an important species on this planet. While the country is working on reducing their carbon footprint and slowing deforestation, many problems still exist and are threatening endangered species.

[1] CIA World Factbook. https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/cs.html Accessed on April 17, 2010

[2] Rosenthal, Elizabeth. “Turtles Are Casualties of Warming in Costa Rica” New York Times November 14, 2009. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/science/earth/14turtles.html?_r=1 Accessed 4/17/2010. 

[3] Rosenthal, Elizabeth. “Turtles Are Casualties of Warming in Costa Rica” New York Times November 14, 2009. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/science/earth/14turtles.html?_r=1 Accessed 4/17/2010.

[4] Ibid

[5] Ibid

[6] Rosenthal, Elizabeth. “Turtles Are Casualties of Warming in Costa Rica” New York Times November 14, 2009. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/science/earth/14turtles.html?_r=1 Accessed 4/17/2010.

Abigail Brown: Chapter 3

What a day! Abigail thought as Mr. Frye handed her test back with a big red 56% in the corner. She’d shown her underwear in Spanish, been knocked unconscious by an irresistible football player, and failed a math test she was totally prepared for. And this was all before noon.

            She walked back to her dorm with one thing in mind, a nice long nap. Too bad for her, Destiny had other plans.

            “Oh, hi Destiny.” Abigail said trying not to show her disappointment. Abigail didn’t hate her roommate Destiny, but she could definitely get on her nerves. Today she had decided to have a mini party in their tiny dorm room. Although, this would be considered a party only by Abigail’s standards.

            Destiny and her two best friends resembled Barbie clones as they shook their hips to the latest Lady Gaga song and crowded around the mirror. Tiffany straightened her hair while Brook applied her eighteenth coat of lip gloss and Destiny took pictures of herself pouting. Good grief, could we be anymore opposite? Abigail thought as she plopped down in front of her computer to email a few friends from high school. Or rather, to email the only two people from high school that she keeps in contact with.

            “Hey Abbie, does my hair look straight?” Abigail glanced over Tiffany’s flawless hair and gave a friendly nod.

            “Are you guys going somewhere?” She tried to sound more curious than judgmental, but it was only noon on a Thursday and Abigail thought partying on weeknights, or afternoons, was trashy.

            “It’s rush season!” Destiny practically squealed. “we have to look our best or we might not get recruited! Hey, are you gonna rush? It’s super fun!” Her smile and eyes showed that she really was having fun, her grades showed that she might be having too much fun.

            “No, it’s just not for me. But I’m thinking of joining the pep band!” They looked at her with fake smiles and she returned to her computer screen. Just then a strong knock on the door quieted to room.

            “Hi boys!” Abigail glanced back to see two unfamiliar guys and the same blue eyes from earlier.

            “Nice haircut Luke.” Destiny ran her perfectly manicured fingers through his hair before she planted a kiss on his ready lips.

Is it Even Possible???

Holy Cow, I’ve never been so busy!!! Due at 8am Monday morning is a 15-20 page research paper, a power point presentation, and a script for my presentation which is next week. So far I’ve only written four pages. Yep, I’m doomed. Can I even get that all done in one day!?! I guess I’m partly to blame since I procrastinated, but I didn’t procrastinate that bad. Ok, so I got the assignment over a week ago. But what kind of college student would I be if I started it with enough time to finish it? Wish me luck! And for any other students out there, may the force be with you!

I Must Look Crazy

            I’m sitting alone in my room with two water bottles (re-usable with wide openings) on either side of my head. I’ve got them held up to my ears like an eager kid trying to hear the ocean through a sea shell. The thing is, you can get the same effect with lots of things just lying around the house, like water bottles. Yep, I’m thinking about the ocean. I never think about the ocean. I’m afraid of the ocean. Growing up in California, the mountains not the coast, I’ve seen the ocean plenty of times and never been all that impressed. It smells like salt and dead fish, it’s windy, the weather usually sucks, and the humidity plus my hair is like a lion’s mane after a tornado. So why am I sitting in my room thinking about the ocean?

            Because I feel like escaping. My life is fine. Practically perfect, in the spectrum of how perfect life can get. But my life is boring. Not stagnant, just slow. Last year at this time my life was like that part of a roller coaster right when you get to the top and it stops for just a brief moment. Just enough to freak you out before plunging you so fast you can’t breathe, straight into the ground. It slowed down after graduation, but just long enough for me to catch my breath before sending me into a double loop. Not sure if I should be more excited or scared. Now the ride has pulled to a stop, I’ve begun breathing again, the ground has stopped wobbling, and my hands aren’t shaking as bad. This is the part where you forget briefly feeling like you were about to die and start saying “I wanna go again!!!”

            Now I’m walking around the theme park wondering what to ride next. And once I decide, there’s the line. The waiting. Time to panic, before I buckle up and pray to God that I don’t die on a stupid roller coaster.

End of the Semester Stress Overload

            It’s the last thirty days of my first year in college… oh my goodness. The pressure is on. Unlike a lot of other colleges, my school held its spring break a month ago. I think we are all very ready for summer. I’m so stressed out that I’m getting mixed up all the time. I went to my piano class thirty minutes early this morning and stood there for ten minutes wondering if it was cancelled before returning to my room to check my schedule. A couple of days ago I woke up to see 7:59 on my clock and jumped out bed frantic to get to class on time. About thirty seconds into my panic I realized it was a Thursday and I didn’t have class till 1pm. I know the time change was almost a month ago, but it’s still throwing me off! And for the past two months I’ve been dreading meeting with my faculty advisor to discuss classes for next year. Luckily I’m getting that over with tomorrow. Then all I have to worry about is actually getting into the classes I want to take. I am lucky in that a few of my classes don’t have finals, just huge projects and or presentations.

            I’ve loved my first year of college and it’s gone by faster than I could have imagined. But, I’m wholeheartedly ready for summer… although I’m not so ready for the whole getting a job thing. Just one more thing to add to list of things to stress about.