An Ambiguous Something

No matter how happy I feel, no matter how proud I am of myself, no matter what I’ve accomplished, there is always this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m missing something. I wish I could say that I’m confused and unsure of what I want in life. That would be simple. But I know exactly what I want and I know I can’t have it. And I know that the reason I can’t have it isn’t because of some outside force, some injustice in the world, or something I can blame my problems on. The reason I can’t have what I want is because I’m standing in my own way. It’s one thing to be angry with someone; it’s an entirely different thing to be angry with yourself.

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