What I Am Not Going To Do

            So I read a short story a few months ago in which a girl moves from the Midwest (or something like that) to LA and the only guy she ends up sleeping with is a guy with a southern accent and cowboy boots. I quite liked the irony of this story, but I totally thought: When I go to England I am not going to fall for any American guys.

            Well, no shock here, I’ve got a crush on a guy from the Midwest. In my defence, I’m from California, so he is a bit exotic. Right?

            Another thing that I always told myself I would not do: end up with a guy like my father. I love my dad, but I honestly don’t know how my mother can stand being married to him (harsh, I know). And we all know that total cliché of girls being attracted to men like their father’s. Unfortunately, it is more than a myth. On top of it all, bad boys really are more attractive. So here, I’ve got a crush on a guy who a) is from the Midwest (the same state as my dad), b) is an awful dancer and drinks way too much (like my dad), and c) has trouble written all over him (not literally of course, that would be a turn-off for sure).

            The biggest reason why I should not like this guy: he clearly does not like me. Perhaps this draws me to certain guys more than anything. I like guys who will never like me, because it is safe. There is no risk because nothing will ever happen. This is a habit that I noticed in high school, but I either don’t want to or don’t know how to change it.

            I like this guy, there is nothing I can do about that, but I think this time around I’m going to do things a bit differently. I am not going to Facebook stalk him. I am not going to daydream about getting drunk and making out with him. I am not going stare at him in class when he’s not looking. I am not going to listen to sad sappy songs and think about him. And I’m going to stop writing blogs about him. (I’m a bit creepy, aren’t I?)

            I’m breaking about four of these rules right now, aren’t I? I have sad-sappy music playing in the background, I was just looking at his Facebook pictures, I’m blogging about him this very second, and I’m totally imagining myself going to the bar tomorrow and getting drunk and dancing awkwardly with him. That is so not going to happen…


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