A week ago I would have said that the most attractive quality in a guy is a good sense of humour, or something like that. But after last night I’ve changed my mind. The most attractive quality in a man is respect. Respect for other people and respect for women.
I went to the pub on campus last night with a group of friends. When I was trying to order a drink a very drunk guy kept trying to chat me up. He even asked for my number when I was clearly ignoring him. I’m not complaining about this, it’s not a big deal. It was a bit annoying, especially since he was whispering in my ear and I could feel his stubble on my cheek and smell the alcohol on his breath. But this is forgivable.
What’s not is that he later tried to dance all over me – not with me. He hovered around our group for a while and then got closer and I felt him touching me. I’m not a touchy person, so I’m sure this bothered me more than the average girl, but it was most definitely rude. I was VERY clearly not interested and I did not respond to him at all. A friend of mine tried to pull me away and dance with me and he still kept it up for a while. I guess the whole thing only went on for about thirty seconds, but it felt like it would never end. Then he proceeded to do the same thing with another one of my friends. She literally pushed him away and he tried again! Come on! How pathetic.
The men in generally were more forward and touchy last night. Someone kept tapping my shoulder; I just pretended not to notice. And another guy was trying to talk to me on the dance floor (FYI: This is impossible. I cannot hear you no matter how loud you speak or how many times you repeat yourself). There was also a lot of creepy hovering and staring. None of that was so bad, but don’t try to dance with someone who doesn’t want it!
I literally NEVER get hit on when we go out. It has seriously never happened in the past five months of going out here in England. So I was pretty darn shocked last night. I was always jealous of those girls who got attention when they were out, and I thought it would be fun to have a random guy just ask for my number or try to dance with me. But it’s not. And there is simply nothing attractive about a man who tries to pursue girls who are not interested.
Here I have to apologize to all of the decent guys out there. Because either you’re the creepy guy trying to dance with random girls, or you’re the cute guy dancing with his friends. And the cute guy doesn’t get any action. I criticize guys for being too forward and I yet I know nothing is ever going to happen if the guy doesn’t make the first move. Don’t worry though, this might just be me. I would have to be quite drunk to let a guy dance with me, and I’d have to be even more drunk to approach a guy myself (I’ve never been drunk enough for either). But this is because dancing with guys makes me super nervous; I don’t think most girls have this problem.
Still, the lesson remains the same: don’t be a creepy douche bag!