I will NOT have a crush on the cute frat boy who I haven’t spoken to since freshman year. I will NOT click through photos on Facebook when I see his name. I will NOT let the butterflies fill my stomach when I see him walk toward me, and I will NOT stare at the ground or bite my lip. I will NOT let him into my day dreams. I will NOT think of all the ways in which we would end up together if my life was like a romantic comedy film. I will NOT imagine ripping off his shirt or kissing him passionately in the rain. I will NOT think of him when I listen to music about love or the lack thereof. I will NOT continue to pine after a boy who is unattainable. I will NOT allow myself to think I like someone who I barely know.
I will close that Facebook tab, turn off the cheesy music, shoo away the butterflies in my stomach and the dreams in my head, and open up my text book and focus on the words written there.
(Check out my new blog for practical college advice: http://adviceforthealmostadult.blogspot.com)
I am not a decisive person. I hate making decisions. And as a senior in college, I’ve got some BIG decisions to make over the next few months. Mainly: what am I going to do for the rest of my life?!?!?!?! To narrow it down a bit, my current struggle is to decide whether or not I should go to law school. I thought I shared my two trains of thought on the situation. Maybe it will help sway my opinion so I can at least make some sort of decision.
Anti Law School Thoughts: Law school is a three-year commitment, and it seems like everyone who goes through it hates it with a passion. I read very slowly, there is no way I will be able to handle the work load in my classes, let alone the actual work load of a practicing lawyer. What if I drop out after a year or two? What if I don’t drop out and I can’t find a job? What if I find a job and I hate it for the rest of my life? What if I’m the worst lawyer in the history of lawyers? What if I become corrupt, or am forced to defend something or someone whom I am fundamentally opposed to? I already have a whole lot of student debt, and I will have way more if I go to law school. I might get a high paying job, but I might not get a job at all – and I may be stuck working in the grocery store deli for the rest of all eternity. I might hate law school and not make any friends or have any fun for three solid years and always regret not trying to find a job in publishing. What if I sign up to go to law school and then by some highly unlikely turn of events I am accepted for an amazing internship that I might apply for in a field that I might love. And the worst possibility: by choosing law school I might miss out on a truly life-changing experience – finding my dream career, falling in love, going where life takes me and seeing what happens.
Pro Law School Thoughts: I am smart and strong and capable of achieving more than anyone expects of me – including law school. Pretty much everyone besides my mom tells me I’d make an awful lawyer and I want to prove them wrong. Not every lawyer is of the obnoxiously opinionated variety and refuse to keep their mouth shut. Nice people can be lawyers too. What do I really have to lose? No matter what the outcome, I will leave law school more knowledgeable and better educated. I’m already thousands of dollars in debt, might as well quadruple it and in doing so increase my chances of actually being able to pay off those loans before I’m ready to ship off to a nursing home. I could actually make a difference as a lawyer. I could study Intellectual Property law, or animal rights, or a dozen other things which could actual be pretty interesting. I could be a lawyer for a few years, and write novels in my spare time. If I really want to be a writer, I need a day job to pay the bills. And the best possibility: by choosing law school I might find my dream career, fall in love, take a risk and end up with a fantastic life I never knew I wanted.
Well, I’m not sure anything is clearer to me. Some days I feel totally gung-ho about the whole idea, and other days I feel one hundred percent certain that it is not the path I should take. Can you tell which mood I’m in today?