The Real World: Northanger Abbey (Scene 2)

(This is Scene 2 of a project I am working on: a story in which a reality television show is produced in England in 1800, based on the MTV reality show “The Real World”. Eight of Jane Austen’s beloved – and despised – characters will live  in Northanger Abbey!)


It is a sunny day and we see CATHERINE MORLAND seated on a chair looking into a video camera suspiciously. MARK stands  behind the camera with SIMON next to him.

SIMON: Just ignore the blinking red light.

Catherine straightens her body and glares into the lens.

View shifts to the Camera Catherine is looking into.

SIMON: Please, tell me about yourself.

CATHERINE: (Nervously) My name is Miss Catherine Morland. I am from Fullerton, where I live with my Mother, Father, and ten brothers and sisters. I’m quite excited to be at this fascinating Abbey and to meet my new companions. I’m certain they will all be lovely.


FRANK CHURCHILL: Good afternoon, Frank Churchill. (removing his hat and bowing his head slightly) I hail from beautiful Enscombe, in Scotland, where I live with my aunt and uncle. I believe that we will all have a marvelous time here at Northanger Abbey. It is quite lovely here.


MARIANNE DASHWOOD: Miss Marianne Dashwood. (Dramatically flipping her hair and smiling) I love everything a lady should love: poetry, nature, art. (Pausing to hear a question) This place? Well it’s quite dreary, but I expect to have many happy days walking through these gardens. And perhaps I may find myself a husband while I’m here.


JOHN THORPE: Mr. Thrope, Mr. John Thorpe.I hail from the glorious city of Bath, where I’ve spent my youth attending all of the best events. Am I engaged? Well, I have won the hearts of many fine young ladies. But alas, I am still looking for a suitable partner. (Wink)


ISABELLA THROPE: Isabella Thorpe. I assume you have already talked to my twin brother, John? Well, I assure you, he is of the best character… well, second best I should say. (She stares lustily at the interviewer, he gestures to the camera and she shifts slightly and raises an eyebrow at the camera.) I expect that during my time here I will win the friendship of all the ladies of the house, and the affection of all the men.

Cut TO

LUCY STEELE: You may call me Miss Lucy Steele. Are you quite sure that … thing… is functioning properly? (Reaching forward to touch the camera, but stopping an inch short.) Nevermind, … I think this will be an interesting experience. Though I cannot see why the government would be interested in placing a bunch of young men and women into an old abbey. What are they researching exactly?


ROBERT MARTIN: (With a slight stutter) H-h-hello, Robert Martin h-here. I live on a Abbey-Mill f-f-farm with my mother and sisters. My f-father passed away a few months back, so now it’s up to me manage the f-farm. I’m great-f-full to be here, it was quite nice of you all to offer to watch over my mum and sisters while I’m away.

Cut To

GEORGE WICKHAM: George Wickham, pleasure to meet you. I come from the gorgeous Pemberly Estate… ah, actually not anymore. I was raised there by my loving god father, but can never return because his son has cast me out forever because of… a dispute. But never mind  I’m quite certain that I will be comfortable here at Northanger Abbey.


…Stay Tuned for Scene 3 where the cast members will move into Northanger Abbey and meet each other!


The Real World: Northanger Abbey (Jane Austen character mash-up)

This is a class project I’m working on: bringing together the modern idea of reality television and transplanting into England in 1800! “The Real World” is a long-running MTV reality show in which 7 or 8 strangers are chosen to live together in a house for several weeks. In my story, 8 of Jane Austen’s characters will live together in Northanger Abbey! Here is scene 1, scene 2 should be posted by tomorrow! Hope you enjoy!


1. Interior – Boardroom – Day

Several suited men sit around a boardroom table, with two men standing in front of them presenting a plan – SIMON and MARK. Simon is in his mid thirties, short and already balding, but with a kind face. Mark is tall, handsome, and confident. The Calendar on the wall reads “June 2113”. Simon and Mark are presenting using a hologram version of Power Point.

SIMON: We’ll recruit from the local population and tell them nothing of our plan.

MAN IN SUIT 1: Then what will you tell them?

MARK: They will be led to believe they have been chosen for a government research program.

MAN IN SUIT 2: And why England? The weather will be dreadful.

SIMON: The rain will actually be to our benefit sir. They will be confined to the Abbey on rainy days and this should increase tension.

MAN IN SUIT 2: Very nice. What about funding?

MARK:The main expense will be fuel for the time warp. We will need to take at least two trips to ship the crew and materials.

The men look seriously at one another for a moment. Finally, MAN IN SUIT 1 nods.

MAN IN SUIT 1: (smiling) It looks like you’ve got yourself a deal. You better find some drama in sleepy old Regency England.

…Stay Tuned to see which of Austen’s characters are chosen to live in Northanger Abbey (unsupervised!). There will surely be plenty of drama to come!

The Future of America

Today was a big day in America, one for the history books. I expected to be on the edge of my seat waiting to see who would win the very close race for president. It did not turn out to be as close as I anticipated. And before long I was calling my parents to brag that my pick won and theirs lost.

But in the end I think that America won, and I think that the world won. This may be a bit presumptuous of me, and of course we’ll never know how the world would have changed with Mitt Romney. I will be the first to acknowledge that no one ever truly knows how our choices, actions, and accidents affect the future. But I truly believe that President Obama will continue to move our country in the right direction, making strides toward improving human rights, our perception around the world, our economy, and our environment. Tonight I am proud to live in this improving America.

Commitment – Back to Blogging!

It’s just one of those things. The kind where the longer you do it or don’t do it, the harder it becomes to stop or start –respectively. You know, like eating that massive bag of chips, or not going to the gym, or doing drugs. But I am talking about blogging of course! Though, that is not to say that I haven’t been on a bit of a Halloween eating craze and avoiding the gym like the plague. Luckily however, I am not a drug addict. But I’ve been putting off blogging for months, with no reason whatsoever. I’ve even written blogs and not posted them! But the longer I go without posting, the harder it is to take that first step and open up my word document and change the font to Times New Roman (the default to “Calibri” font drives me nuts!). So here it is!

Sorry if this isn’t very entertaining. And double sorry for not posting in forever. I’m on the road to recovery. I guess I’m just one of those all or nothing kind of people. Like, I’ve written in a journal every single night for the past ten years (with only about a dozen exceptions) because I know that as soon as I say that I’m only going to write when exciting things happen that will be the end of my journaling days. I write every day, because I know it’s that or not at all. Unfortunately, I’m not willing to make that commitment to other aspects of my life. I should go to the gym every day, I should stop eating junk food, I should spend all of my free time reading instead of watching reality TV. But I’m not much of a commitment person.

Right now, as a college senior, I’m refusing to make a commitment about my future. My LSAT scores came in today, but I don’t want to commit to law school. I don’t want to commit to grad school at all, because that’s committing to a career path, and heaven forbid I ever make a decision on what I want to do with the rest of my life. I doubt I’ll ever be content in that respect. I’ll always wonder what else is out there, I’ll never be certain that I made the right choice. Hopefully, if I ever snag myself a decent man I will be able to at least commit to that!

But I have to admit that I don’t plan to commit to posting to this blog every day. I wish I would. But I don’t always do the things I know I should. But I’m going to finish this post, and I’m going to proofread it, and then I’m going to post it. Then I can get out of this rut and start posting more and more often. And just as it is harder to start after a long drought, it will also become easier the more often I post. At least life is forgiving in that way.