The Real World: Northanger Abbey – Scene 7

It is the next day and the eight sit on top on a nearby hill enjoying a picnic.

FRANK CHURCHILL: What a lovely idea Lucy. It is the perfect day for a picnic.

ISABELLA THORPE: Indeed it is a lovely day, but I’m so bored.

MARIANNE: How can you be bored?! The view from here is unmatched. To the left we can see the glorious Abbey and to the right many poetic shades of green fill the trees and grass.

ISABELLA THORPE: Why don’t we do something fun. How about we each ask each other a question, and everyone must answer truthfully.

LUCY STEELE: That doesn’t sound very fun.

ROBERT MARTIN: Perhaps it would be a good way to increase our friendship with one another.

ISABELLA THORPE: Yes Robert, that is exactly what it will do. Who should go first… hmmmmm… George! My question for you is: are you engaged?

Frank shifts uncomfortably

GEORGE WICKHAM: I most certainly am not. Now my turn to ask a question. Miss Lucy Steele, what is you favourite colour.

LUCY STEELE: Ah, well, I suppose it would be blue. I have a lovely blue bonnet. John, how about you next, what is your favourite novel.

JOHN THORPE: I have no time for reading novels. But I am quite fond of The Monk. Robert, how many hours a day do you work the farm.

ROBERT MARTIN: (Surprised by the question) Well, being in charge of a farm is quite a commitment. The cows must be milked in the morning, eggs gathered, animals fed, crops harvested or planted. It requires most of the day-light time. Miss Catherine Morland, may I ask you a question?

CATHERINE: Of course.

ROBERT: What do you miss most from home.

CATHERINE: Oh, that’s a good one. Probably my younger brothers and sisters. Marianne, what is your favourite tree.

MARIANNE: I cannot compare one tree to another. They are all beautiful gifts from nature. Who is to say that an oak tree is better than any other. But I do love a nice oak tree. Frank, I suppose you are the last one left, do you have anyone special back home? A lady perhaps.

FRANK: (coughing to clear his throat) A lady? No one besides my dear aunt. I think we’ve all had quite enough of this game. I feel as if I’ve known you all for years, well done.

The Real World: Northanger Abbey – Scene 6

Marianne sits beside George, flipping through the poetry book from earlier.

Isabella and John sit beside each other whispering and shooting Marianne dirty looks. Lucy sits beside them. There is an empty bottle of wine between them and another bottle that is mostly full.

Robert and Frank play a game of cards at the table.

Catherine sits awkwardly staring at everyone.

Isabella pours some wine into a clean glass.

ISABELLA THORPE: Here Marianne, have some wine.

MARIANNE: Oh, but I usually don’t…

Marianne hesitates, but takes the wine. She takes a small sip and coughs lightly.

MARIANNE: It’s lovely, thank you.

ISABELLA THORPE: Catherine, would you like some?

CATHERINE: No thank you, I’m already drinking tea.

Marianne takes another, larger sip of wine and continues to stare at George. After a few moments Catherine walks to the corner of the room and begins silently reading a book.

ISABELLA THORPE: Miss Steele, I wonder if you would take a turn about the room with me?

LUCY STEELE: Of course.

The ladies begin walking, but when they get to the door they leave. The camera follows them upstairs where they giggle as they gather Catherine’s belongings and carry them into Marianne’s room

LUCY STEELE: I’m so glad I don’t have share a room with that child.

ISABELLA THORPE: And Marianne is just as bad. Swooning all over George as if she’s known him for years.

LUCY STEELE: Well, I believe they will both get the hint. Even Catherine will realize we don’t like her.

ISABELLA THORPE: I wouldn’t be so sure of that. She is quite slow.

Isabella throws her suitcase on the bed where Catherine’s had been and the two walk downstairs giggling.

They re-enter the card-room and Marianne’s glass is now empty and she is reading George a Cowper poem.

MARIANNE: (Dramatically) “…His wonders to perform! He plants his footsteps in the sea! And rides upon the storm!”

ISABELLA THORPE: (Annoyed) Marianne, perhaps you and Catherine would enjoy exploring the abbey a bit? I heard that it was used as a head quarters for a torture facility years ago.

CATHERINE: Really?! How exciting!

ISABELLA THORPE: That is only what I have heard, but perhaps you will find evidence.

Isabella pushes Marianne out of her way and sits beside George. Marianne does not look happy, but she leaves with Catherine.

… Scene 7 to be posted soon!

The Real World: Northanger Abbey – Scene 5

(Continued from Scene 4. The remaining cast members move into the Abbey!)

Downstairs, Marianne Dashwood shuts the large door behind her and squeals with excitement as she looks around the mansion. She does not walk up the stairs, instead she enters the room to the left, a large sitting room with card tables and book cases. She walks to the books self and looks for a few seconds until she finds a thin book of poetry. She keeps it in her hand as she walks around the room.

MARIANNE: Is anyone here! Hello…

She walks back into the front room and looks up the stairs.

MARIANNE: Hello! Is anyone here yet?

The door opens behind her suddenly and she is spooked. George Wickham walks through the door.

GEORGE WICKHAM: Hello Miss…

MARIANNE: Marianne Dashwood.

GEORGE WICKHAM: George Wickham. Good choice (he motions toward the book in Marianne’s hand) William Cowper, is one of my favouties.

MARIANNE: (delighted) Me too!

Catherine, Lucy, and Robert come down the stairs, John is a few steps behind them looking bored.

The door opens again and in walk Isabella Thorpe and Frank Churchill laughing.

FRANK CHURCHILL: Hello everyone. Frank Churchill. And may I introduce you all to the lovely Isabella Thorpe.

JOHN THORPE: Nice to meet you. Have you previously met my sister?

FRANK CHURCHILL: Your sister?

ISABELLA THORPE: John and I are twins.

FRANK CHURCHILL: Oh, I see! Quite a resemblance! Alas, no I have only just met her a moment ago. Our carriages arrived at precisely the same moment.

GEORGE WICKHAM: Well, I suppose we all ought to find our rooms.

… What will happen next on “The Real World: Northanger Abbey”!? Stay tuned to find out!

The Real World Northanger Abbey: Scene 4

Catherine and Lucy gaze around the large front room of the abbey, suitcases in hand. There are doors on either side of them and a large staircase in front of them. The walls are decorated with a few expensive paintings and the head of a deer. The floor is covered by a large rug and large windows allow light to fill the room. The ladies cautiously start climbing the stairs.

On the second floor Lucy walks ahead of Catherine, opening each door that they walk past. She stops at the third door and steps inside.

LUCY STEELE: This will do nicely.

The room is very large, with two massive beds and a fireplace. Lucy takes the larger of the two beds, and drops her suitcase on the floor. She sits on the bed. Catherine sets her suitcase on her bed and flops down ungracefully beside it.

They hear the door open downstairs and they both quickly head for the stairs. Downstairs they meet Robert Martin and John Thorpe.

ROBERT MARTIN: G-g-good afternoon ladies, Robert Martin.

LUCY: Miss Lucy Steele.

CATHERINE: Miss Catherine Morland.

The ladies curtsy and the men remove their hats and bow their heads slightly.

JOHN THORPE: John Thorpe, pleased to meet you both. (Wink)

Lucy does not appear to be impressed with either gentleman. Catherine rocks on her feet nervously, still smiling widely.

ROBERT MARTIN: I suppose we’d better claim a bedroom before the others arrive.

JOHN THORPE: Certainly.

The four of them climb the stairs again. Robert stops in the first room he comes to and sets his bag down, but John continues on. Robert grabs his bag and follows after John. John walks into the last room and shuts the door. Robert stands in the hallway looking confused. He returns to the first room begins unpacking. Catherine follows him.

CATHERINE: So, where are you from?

ROBERT MARTIN: A lovely town called Highbury. I live on a farm with my mother and sisters. And where are you from, miss… what was it again?

CATHERINE: Morland. Catherine Morland. I live in the little village of Fullerton. This is the first time I’ve left home. It’s quite exciting really.

ROBERT MARTIN: It definitely is. This is an odd experiment if you ask me.

CATHERINE: Yes, I have a few theories myself.

ROBERT MARTIN: Really?

CATHERINE:Well, perhaps… (She looks around cautiously and turns her back to the camera and whispers loudly) Perhaps they’ve put us all here so they can kill us and hide our bodies in the garden.

Robert Stops in the middle of folding a pair of trousers and looks at her astonished.

CATHERINE: Or perhaps not.

…Scene 5 to be posted shortly! Four more of Austen’s characters will move into Northanger Abbey, and the fun will begin!

The Real World Northanger Abbey – Scene 3

3. EXT. Northanger Abbey – Day

The Abbey is a huge mansion, built of stone, with a lovely garden in front and a long walk-way leading to the entrance. A carriage drawn by two horses arrives and Catherine Morland steps out, holding one rather abused suitcase. She is wide-eyed and looks up at the Abbey with a smile that quickly falters a bit.

CATHERINE: (to herself) Well, it certainly is very large.

She treks up the path, stopping at the large wooden door when she hears another carriage coming up the path. She turns to see Lucy Steele stepping out of a carriage. Lucy nods approvingly at the Abbey and walks up the path to greet Catherine.

LUCY: (Standing in awkward silence for a few seconds) I suppose there is no one to introduce us.

They both look directly into the camera, but the camera-man prompts them to ignore him.

CATHERINE: Miss Catherine Morland.

Catherine curtseys and smiles eagerly at Lucy. Lucy does not look impressed, but she smiles politely.

LUCY: Miss Lucy Steele.

CATHERINE: Would you like to share a room with me? They told me two people to a room.

Lucy hesitates and looks around nervously, trying to think of an excuse to refuse Catherine politely. She sighs.

LUCY: Sure. Lets go

The enter the abbey.

…Stay tuned! Scene 4 will be posted shortly! More of Austen’s beloved – and despised – characters will move into Northanger Abbey! Who will make friends, who will make enemies, and will anyone find a husband!?