I Love England … Rain and All

The past five months have held more adventure than I thought my life would ever have. I’m just a girl from a small California town who had never traveled further west than Carson City, Nevada. I’d never been away from home for more than six weeks and I’d never gone more than four days without speaking to my mom. Coming to England was the scariest thing I’d ever done, but now it seems easy compared to leaving. I still have one month left here, and I’m already getting nostalgic. When I left home I knew I would be back in six months, but when I leave here I may never return and I will never see 95% – 100% of the people I met here ever again.

I thought I would share some of the photos I’ve taken while traveling. One from every city I’ve been to in England:

I flew out of San Francisco, my first time ever being on an airplane. I got to see Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham, Lyme Park, Salisbury, Windsor Castle, Bath, Stonehenge, and London.

But this…

… is my England.

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An Itch

I have an itch, and not the kind you get from a rash or mosquito bite. And definitely not the kind on a certain commercial which I will not name, for those of you with a dirty mind. I have an itch to do something. Something big.

            My life has been boring and stagnant lately. Although, I tend to feel like this about every three months. I usually just die my hair with temporary hair dye. Cause I’m a chicken. I rarely do anything daring. And on that rare occasion that I do actually do something daring, it is only actually daring to me and no one else would think twice about doing. Like joining the pep band at the start of my freshman year in college. To me, that was HUGE. I felt like I’d just gone sky diving. But to anyone else they would have just been like “I really want to join the pep band, so I’m going to join it. No big deal.” But, like I said, I’m a chicken. So little things seem like great feats to me.

            Lately I haven’t even done anything semi-kind-of daring. Not even in my book. And today I found myself sitting at home alone wanting to do something, but not knowing what I want to do. Although I do know that what I want to do is not something I can find at my house. I’ve been sitting here all summer kind of trying to get in shape, and kind of trying to write a book, and kind of trying to clean my room. But in actuality I’m not really accomplishing anything.

            Earlier I was watching an episode of Glee (cause I’m a dork and it’s kind of awesome) and one of the characters said this: “the only life worth living is one that you’re really passionate about”. Wow, I know I’m cheesy, but that’s a great quote! Actually I might write it down and tape it to the wall above my bed. It kind of struck a chord with me though, because I totally think this is a great mantra to live by, but I’m not living this way at all. I’m not passionate about anything right now. Well, I’m passionate about school, and writing, and my future. But those aren’t really all that tangible right now, except maybe writing, but I can’t sit around all day everyday writing. I really want to be passionate about something. All I can think about though is traveling and seeing the world and volunteering in faraway lands. But that all takes money, and I’m flat broke.

            So I guess this blog isn’t really going anywhere, I didn’t really come to any conclusions. I know what I’ve known for a long time: I’m bored with my life and I don’t know how to change it. Sure, once I go back to school I won’t be as bored, and I’ll be happy simply to be out of this little town again. But that’s just a temporary solution. When classes slow down or I don’t have homework or plans with pep band or friends I’m going to get bored again. And next summer hopefully I’ll get an awesome job, but chances are pretty high that I will still be bored. I guess I’ll just see what happens and look for an opportunity to leap into something that I can really be passionate and daring about.

I Must Look Crazy

            I’m sitting alone in my room with two water bottles (re-usable with wide openings) on either side of my head. I’ve got them held up to my ears like an eager kid trying to hear the ocean through a sea shell. The thing is, you can get the same effect with lots of things just lying around the house, like water bottles. Yep, I’m thinking about the ocean. I never think about the ocean. I’m afraid of the ocean. Growing up in California, the mountains not the coast, I’ve seen the ocean plenty of times and never been all that impressed. It smells like salt and dead fish, it’s windy, the weather usually sucks, and the humidity plus my hair is like a lion’s mane after a tornado. So why am I sitting in my room thinking about the ocean?

            Because I feel like escaping. My life is fine. Practically perfect, in the spectrum of how perfect life can get. But my life is boring. Not stagnant, just slow. Last year at this time my life was like that part of a roller coaster right when you get to the top and it stops for just a brief moment. Just enough to freak you out before plunging you so fast you can’t breathe, straight into the ground. It slowed down after graduation, but just long enough for me to catch my breath before sending me into a double loop. Not sure if I should be more excited or scared. Now the ride has pulled to a stop, I’ve begun breathing again, the ground has stopped wobbling, and my hands aren’t shaking as bad. This is the part where you forget briefly feeling like you were about to die and start saying “I wanna go again!!!”

            Now I’m walking around the theme park wondering what to ride next. And once I decide, there’s the line. The waiting. Time to panic, before I buckle up and pray to God that I don’t die on a stupid roller coaster.

2 Things I’ve Recently Learned

Since starting college seven months ago, I’ve come to realize two very important things:

1.) Life is an adventure. The past year has assured me of this fact more than ever. I’ve come to realize that adventure can be found everywhere and anywhere. Whether you’re moving away from home or just having dinner with good friends, you never know where life is going to take you. This past year I’ve experienced my last day of high school, my first day of college, finding my best friend, making mistakes, taking chances, mountains of homework, an amazing spring break, finding where I belong, and finding myself. I love myself and my life more than ever before. And I know the journey and the adventure is only just begining.

2.) Life is all about decisions. Whether good or bad, right or wrong, smart or stupid, my choices will shape my life and memories. I don’t plan on or hope to always make the right decision, because what is right is not always best. Lately I’ve had an itch to try something new, do something different, be crazy for just a while. I don’t know where life is taking me, but I’m along for the ride. So, it’s time I start living courageously. I’ve changed a whole lot over the past year, but there’s more to come. Life is a continuous cycle of change, and I’m so ready for it! =)