The night ended with me walking home laughing hysterically and sobbing. And I wasn’t crying from joy. The past six months studying abroad have been a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences, and it all just hit me at once in a flurry.
Tonight I went to the student bar with my usual group of friends and we hung out there making fun of what the girls across the room were wearing and throwing old receipts at each other and taking ridiculous photos and laughing a bit too loud. Then we headed to a pub down the road for Karaoke Night and there we ran into another group of international students. There were about fifteen or twenty of us and everyone was getting along (which is not always the case). A few of my friends sang and each time we would all join in and cheer loudly at awkward moments. In those moments I couldn’t help but just look around and try to commit the whole thing to memory – the sounds, the people, and the way I felt. We sang along to Backstreet Boys’ songs and Hakuna Matata and American Pie. We took loads of pictures. And some of us (not me) danced even though everyone else was sitting.
It was one of the most memorable nights of the past six months of my life. And at the end of it I had to say goodbye to two lovely girls who I never even expected to like. They are leaving tomorrow and many others are leaving in the next few days – and I’m leaving in five days as well. I hugged them goodbye and tried so hard not to cry. I glanced through the room one last time before leaving, knowing that I would never see some of those people ever again. I said goodbye to two, but I’m sure there will be others whom I will not see again before I leave.
I walked home with the best friend I have made here, who has quickly become one of the best friends I have ever had. And the tears started, and they didn’t stop for two blocks. I was truly sad to be leaving those girls and sad that we would never go out as a group like that ever again and sad that the next five days will just get more and more lonely until I’m standing at the airport by myself. And I was so happy that the night had gone the way it had, a truly perfect end to the past six months. So I laughed through my tears.
A week ago I would have said that the most attractive quality in a guy is a good sense of humour, or something like that. But after last night I’ve changed my mind. The most attractive quality in a man is respect. Respect for other people and respect for women.
I went to the pub on campus last night with a group of friends. When I was trying to order a drink a very drunk guy kept trying to chat me up. He even asked for my number when I was clearly ignoring him. I’m not complaining about this, it’s not a big deal. It was a bit annoying, especially since he was whispering in my ear and I could feel his stubble on my cheek and smell the alcohol on his breath. But this is forgivable.
What’s not is that he later tried to dance all over me – not with me. He hovered around our group for a while and then got closer and I felt him touching me. I’m not a touchy person, so I’m sure this bothered me more than the average girl, but it was most definitely rude. I was VERY clearly not interested and I did not respond to him at all. A friend of mine tried to pull me away and dance with me and he still kept it up for a while. I guess the whole thing only went on for about thirty seconds, but it felt like it would never end. Then he proceeded to do the same thing with another one of my friends. She literally pushed him away and he tried again! Come on! How pathetic.
The men in generally were more forward and touchy last night. Someone kept tapping my shoulder; I just pretended not to notice. And another guy was trying to talk to me on the dance floor (FYI: This is impossible. I cannot hear you no matter how loud you speak or how many times you repeat yourself). There was also a lot of creepy hovering and staring. None of that was so bad, but don’t try to dance with someone who doesn’t want it!
I literally NEVER get hit on when we go out. It has seriously never happened in the past five months of going out here in England. So I was pretty darn shocked last night. I was always jealous of those girls who got attention when they were out, and I thought it would be fun to have a random guy just ask for my number or try to dance with me. But it’s not. And there is simply nothing attractive about a man who tries to pursue girls who are not interested.
Here I have to apologize to all of the decent guys out there. Because either you’re the creepy guy trying to dance with random girls, or you’re the cute guy dancing with his friends. And the cute guy doesn’t get any action. I criticize guys for being too forward and I yet I know nothing is ever going to happen if the guy doesn’t make the first move. Don’t worry though, this might just be me. I would have to be quite drunk to let a guy dance with me, and I’d have to be even more drunk to approach a guy myself (I’ve never been drunk enough for either). But this is because dancing with guys makes me super nervous; I don’t think most girls have this problem.
Still, the lesson remains the same: don’t be a creepy douche bag!