Three Summers Back (Short Story)

So, it was three years ago. The summer before my senior year of college. And I was just so ready to get on with my life and get out of that damn town. I got a job at this little deli. It was like hell on Earth. I was working with these kids right out of high school and they were bossy as hell.

Dalia was the worst. She’d only been working there for two weeks, but you would have thought she was my boss. Then there was Martin. Whitest kid you ever saw, but acted like he was straight outta the projects. Just turned eighteen, but he had a different girl every week. Don’t think one of them was ever over fifteen years old. He would just say the most inappropriate shit. Funny as hell. He asked me if I was a virgin on my first day, then winked at me and said I wasn’t his type anyway. I thought he was gay for about two weeks.

And Connor, of course. He had the dirty job. Cleaned the bathrooms, swept, kept the kitchen clean. Only worked a few hours a day, but every time I saw him I smiled a little too big. I was not the flirting type, but between Connor and Martin you would’ve thought I was the type of girl to date a different guy every night. But I never liked Martin that way, and Connor was just… so awkward.

I did like him, I really did. He wouldn’t believe me if I told him that now, but he believed it back then. If I could go back and change how that all went – I don’t know. We did have fun. But when I left on that last day, he just looked at me like I’d ripped up his heart like an old receipt.

It’s kind of a long story.

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My Mother’s Words of Wisdom

            So I’ve been a bit confused about the situation between a guy at work and me, so of course I turned to my mom for advice. Like most good advice it wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I’m sure it will turn out to be true.

            I’m going to the dinner and a movie with this guy, and he’s picking me up at my house. AND I told him I like him and he told me he likes me. But the tricky thing is, he insists that it’s NOT a date! Seriously?! I’m 21 and I’ve never been on a date in my life. Can we just call it a date? Please!!!

So I asked my mom if it’s a date or not, and this is what she said: “Well, you’ll know it’s a date if he tries to kiss you.”

Thanks for that Mom.

Just Like the Movies

            I used to think it was just ridiculous when characters in movies would ask each other out and then just walk away without making any plans. “Do you want to see a movie on Friday?” “Yeah, sure” “Great” end scene. It used to drive me nuts. How do they know when to meet? Is he going to drive or are they meeting at the destination?

            But a few days ago I was asked out for the first time ever and that’s pretty much how it went. Except that at the end of my scene he came back and said “you know, it’s not like a date or anything.” So, not quite like the movies after all.

Nice Guys and Good Girls

            I’m sick of this BS about girls not liking “nice guys” and always going after the bad boys. It’s true, I’ll admit that. Nine times out of ten the trouble maker is going to catch my eye and my friends’ as well. The quiet guy who does well and is nice is simply forgotten most of the time. And that sucks.

            But guys do the exact same thing. They long for the Megan Foxs and Katy Perrys of the world. And I don’t blame them, I’m just sick of the double standard. So girls go for bad boys and guys go for wild girls. It totally sucks for the rest of us, but it’s not going to change anytime soon. So let’s just acknowledge it, try to make better choices in mate selection, and move on.

Have You Been Watching the Olympics?

            I’m not sure what to blog about today, so I think I’ll just talk to you about the same thing I would talk to my best friend about if she were at my house with me today:

            Have you been watching the Olympics? Have you seen Ryan Lochte? The swimmer. He is so HOT!!! I want to find him and marry him.

My best friend would probably just roll her eyes at me. And no, I’m not really creepy enough to stalk anyone. I swear.

But what do you think? Who is your favourite athlete? Who inspires you the most, and who just makes you want to rip their clothes off?

I love watching the Olympics, probably more than any un-athletic person should. I’m horrible at pretty much every sport I have ever tried and I don’t work out nearly as much as I should. But Michael Phelps is still in my top-five people I would love to meet list. I can get completely absorbed into any sport on TV during the Olympics. And every time I see an athlete finish a race or a competition with tears of joy about to spill over, I have to hold it in too.

Everyone’s story in inspiring and I want to see every one of them smile, whether they’re just happy to be there or happy to win a medal. And when someone’s dream is crushed I just want to give them a hug and tell them that they are amazing and inspiring just the same. They make me want to try harder at everything I do, whether it’s washing dishes at work or blogging.

Work Romance … Or A Lack Thereof

            I work in a deli inside of a large grocery store and I work with several people near my age. To me, it seems completely logical to have a crush on half of the guys I work with. And of course, knowing me and my taste in guys, I have a crush on the janitor. Yep. And he’s two years younger than me. For some reason most girls I know would have no problem with dating a guy at least five years their senior but would never go for a younger guy. Apparently I’m attracted to anyone between the ages of 17 and 24, which makes me feel a little pervy since I’m 21.

            Lately at work I’ve been in the middle of a little bit of drama, and I’m not used to it at all. Honestly, part of the reason why I have a crush on half the store is because I’ve never even been on a date and I’m starting to feel a little desperate. So my standards are not at their highest.

My story begins about a week ago. I work with a kid named Connor who I think is hilarious and fun, but amazingly I have absolutely no feelings for. He was joking around with the janitor – we’ll call him Martin (his real name is funnier though) – while we were both closing the deli. Here’s how it went down:

Connor: “I need to find you love Martin! … <completely joking> Alice, do you want to go on a date with Martin?” Martin had just walked away and I turned bright red. “Wait, you don’t really like him, do you?!!” So, that’s how Connor found out I had a little bit of a crush on Martin. Apparently after I went home that night he told Martin, but he didn’t believe Connor.

The next few days were a muddle of does-she-like-me-or-not. I denied it entirely. But last night I walked into the deli where Martin was collecting the trash and the first thing he said to me was “I know you like me, and it’s ok, I won’t treat you any differently.”

My response was to shove my hat as far over my eyes as possible and shout “I’m gonna go clean the meat slicer!” before turning and walking away. I never said I was mature.

It’s not all bad news though, because later Connor told me that when we were in the break room the night before with three other guys they all started talking about me after I left. Apparently I have a nice butt.